The first question I had when hearing about a game called Vampire Therapist was, ‘Is this a game about a therapist who is a vampire or a therapist for vampires specifically?’ And to my great joy, the answer was both! You play as Sam, a reformed cowboy bandit who, after turning into a vampire himself, was taught about life by non-bloodsucking humans who were not afraid of him but decided to trust him. It made him see his unlife in a completely new light, wondering about what drives vampires to be who they are.
After the last of his group of humans died, Sam set off on a long walk across the U.S. to consider what he wanted to do. And despite his former instincts as a bandit, or even those of a vampire, he decided he wanted to help other vampires, get them to see things from a different perspective, and become more than what they are assigned to be due to their curse. To do so, he seeks the help of Andromachos, a 3,000-year-old vampire who not only is an expert in cognitive behavioural therapy, or CBT, but also runs a nifty nightclub in Germany.
Arriving in Germany is a bit of a culture shock for ol’ Sam, who – despite having lived for literal hundreds of years – is still a bit of a rootin’ tootin’ gunslinger. The specifics of 21st-century life seem to have passed him by, even if his newfound psychological insight indicates at least some modern thought. It’s part of a choice by developer Little Bat Games to use caricatures and their stereotypes, which doesn’t always hold up within the logic of the game. But then again, this is a visual novel about being a vampire who’s a therapist for other vampires, so things shouldn’t always make sense.
The relationship between Sam and Andromachos, or Andy as Sam likes to call him, is a warm one, full of reciprocated respect, and driven by a desire to become better as people themselves, on top of wanting to help others. That’s why each working day starts with a therapy session for Sam, before he gets to work his magic on his own patients.
The heartbeat of the game is its use of actual CBT terms and insights. These are given a vampire twist; for example, when black and white thinking is called ‘Nosferatu thinking’. There are five different cognitive distortions to recognise, and both Sam and his patients will usually go through all five during a single session. It’s up to you as the player to recognise these and to give some much-needed insights when your patient’s thinking goes awry. There’s no pressure to get these right either, as whenever you are wrong, Andy will come in and give you another shot to get the correct answer. This is helpful, obviously, but it does mean that you can’t make any real meaningful choices, which might be a downer for those who love that in their visual novels.
I’m sure actual psychologists might have something to say about the way CBT is portrayed in Vampire Therapist, but as someone who has gone through over a decade of therapy, I feel the developers did a really good job conveying what a therapist will try to do to help a patient. It’s also incredibly catchy, as after playing the game, I found myself noticing people around me partaking in their own cognitive distortions, and I had to keep my mouth shut so as to not keep pointing them out.
Now, a game about actual therapy could be pretty boring for some. Psychological theory just isn’t for everyone, but luckily, Little Bat Games has balanced every element of the game just perfectly. In Sam, we have an incredibly likeable protagonist, who clearly means well and who’s just goofy enough to give you a chuckle at times. There’s a lot of heart put into Vampire Therapist, without it getting too sweet. On the other hand, there’s plenty of humour on offer as well, especially in the interactions Sam has with his patients or with bartender Crimson. Not all of the jokes land perfectly, as some of the jokes at Sam’s expense feel a bit cheap (we get it, he’s old and struggles with modern life), but that’s me being nitpicky.
Sam’s patients also really shine, even if most of them are walking stereotypes. Making the characters larger than life elevates this from a boring talking simulator to something more, and the excellent voice acting certainly plays its part here as well. I won’t spoil any of the characters in this review, as first impressions are an important part of the game. It’s what you do with that impression that will see you become a better therapist in the end. And if you’re struggling, Andy will always be there to have your back.
It’s a good thing he’s there, because these vampires have issues. The funny thing is, their issues are very much human and not vampiric in nature, despite how some of them feel about mortals. Just imagine knowing how much people can struggle in life and then applying that to creatures who have seen the dawn and ends of multiple centuries. You’ll have your work cut out, but luckily, it’s one hell of a time.
The game was originally released on PC two years ago, with the Couples Therapy DLC arriving the following year. This review was made in honour of the game’s new release on consoles, with it releasing on PlayStation 4, 5 and Nintendo Switch on February 17, and also arriving on Xbox One and Xbox Series X|S on March 5. So if the PC version had passed you by, you can now finally sink your fangs into the game on your favourite console of choice!
